In a new episode of Lady Parts, hosted by “puberty survivor” Sarah Hyland, the ladies discuss everything from their first periods to what they wish they would have learned in sex education classes. Duff, Benson and Hyland were joined by OB/GYN and women’s health expert Dr. Sherry to have an honest conversation with young listeners about all the things they’re probably “too embarrassed to talk to your mom or your BFF about.”
“Oh my god, well, I thought the first time you had sex you were going to get pregnant,” Duff remembered thinking as a young girl, while Benson said, “I thought if you’d get fingered, you’d get pregnant.”
“I mean, anything touching your vagina I was like, ‘I’m going to get pregnant,’ you know what I mean?” Benson added. “I just always thought anything [around] there I’d get pregnant. So, I was always terrified.”
Part of that fear stemmed from not receiving enough information about sex and women’s reproductive health in school. The ladies spoke about what they wish they would have learned in those classes back in the day.
“I remember just watching a film and that was kind of it,” Benson recalled. “I mean, I went to a Christian school growing up and so it wasn’t really explained in the right way, in my opinion. I think a lot of things were kind of hidden, and they only made you pay attention to certain things.”
“I don’t feel like I had the proper sex education at all,” she continued. “I kind of just learned from my older friends about everything and that’s who I asked questions to.”
Duff chimed in, adding that it’s also a “bummer” that another thing people don’t really talk about when you’re younger is how “sex is for pleasure, too — not just about being in love.”
“Like, you’re having a lot of different feelings in your body and a lot of people are ready at different times. I guess I never got taught that it was about feeling good and connecting with someone,” she explained. “And I think as a young girl you get taught, like, ‘OMG, you want the guy to feel good’ or something, and that’s really a terrible mentality to go into, starting to have sex with.”
Hyland agreed, telling the girls, “That’s probably the biggest misconception that we all had as young women.”
“Because I do remember, ‘It’s pretty much all about the guy. I’m not going to get anything out of it. But this is much shorter than I thought it was going to be — the time,'” she recalled thinking. “Every time. I was like, ‘They look like they’re doing it for hours on the television. I don’t understand.'”
Toward the end of the episode, Hyland challenged Duff, Benson and Sherry to give sex advice to teenage girls in 30 seconds.
“When you think you’re ready to have sex, first get to know your body. Learn what you like, learn what feels good for you before you go into it with someone else,” Duff advised. “Don’t feel pressure to have sex in the moment with that person if you don’t think it’s the right person. You can never take away who you had sex with.”
“Your number is just going to keep growing. You might really not like that person on that list. So be careful, know who you’re having sex with and [that] you like them. And that also, sex is about pleasure, and not just for them, but for you.”
Watch the full conversation below:
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